Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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