apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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