whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
