Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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