Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
