Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
wanna go halves on a baby?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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