Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
