just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize