You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize