8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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