how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
