Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
