did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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