My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
