you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
