i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
