omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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