break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
