Hey man sorry I got all grabby
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
