Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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