I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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