Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
