Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
