i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
