Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
