sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize
