Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Randomize