is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Randomize
