well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
