u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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