Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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