Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She said her name was "party"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize