Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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