is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
