you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
