The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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