P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
