I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
