we're blogging at a bar
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
