you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
