So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
