Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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