went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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