What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
