i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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