i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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