Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The best revenge is premature balding
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
