i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
