You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
