I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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