i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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