you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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