its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
