hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
