i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
