whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
