If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
