no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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