we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
