dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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