Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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