Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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