did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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