Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
