Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
