made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I don't think brook has ever known best
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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