The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize