so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
