how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
