I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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