we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
