this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
