I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
